


Midnight Conversations

by Rollinginthesheep



Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, F/M, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-31
Updated: 2014-05-31
Packaged: 2018-01-27 18:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1718780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rollinginthesheep/pseuds/Rollinginthesheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Louis is lost and Perrie believes in fate.</p><p>[A LOURRIE!FRIENDSHIP ONE-SHOT]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midnight Conversations

“Do you think this city ever really sleeps?” A soft voice sounded behind me as the glass sliding door was shut quietly and a tall figure approached me across the balcony, sinking into the wooden seat beside me.

“Probably not, but that’s the beauty of it.” I murmured in response turning my head to gaze Louis Tomlinson who sat beside me, nursing a drink and staring out at the nightlife skyline of the city we currently occupied. His brunette locks were mussed, and his blue eyes seemed glassy and unfocused.

“Really makes you feel insignificant doesn’t it?” He replies, an edge to his tone that makes me think that the amount of alcohol he had consumed had brought on some pondering thoughts that he wanted to address to the only conscious person around. Zayn had conked out on our bed ages ago. He always struggled with jetlag and I couldn’t blame him for wanting to catch up on some beauty sleep despite the fact we barely got to see each other as it was.

Harry and Niall had wandered off into the city, to embrace the flashing lights and loud noises. Liam had fallen asleep on the couch watching Batman Returns and Eleanor wasn’t set to arrive for another two days. We were a pathetic bunch indeed. You would think having the money and resources these boys had, that they’d live a far more glamorous life. Instead Louis and I sat on wooden chairs and watched the city around us, the one that was so close yet so far away.

“I highly doubt you could ever be considered insignificant Louis.” I replied, partially amused by his attempt at invoking a meaningful conversation. Drunken Louis tended to rant and rave a lot, and despite having some gems of knowledge, it was kind of depressing after a while especially when he was like this.

“Nah. Let’s face it. In ten years’ time, me and the lads will be obsolete. Yet another passing fad adored by women because we represented something they didn’t have in their lives. Harry may still be around; god knows he loves being in the spotlight.” Louis’ eyes fell to his glass and he lifted his drink up, watching as the lights shining out onto our balcony caught the glass. Despite his gaze being focused on the reflective colors of his drink, I couldn’t help but see the bitter sadness in his eyes. It made a tightness form in my chest. I hated seeing people upset, even when they were merely the effects of intoxication.

I could understand Louis’ fears. I held similar. The industry we were in was sadly built on shallow necessities, such as desirability and youth. Once you passed a certain age, you weren’t as ‘cute’ or ‘idol-worthy’ any more. There was the exception to every case, but I knew I wasn’t going to be one of them. I had no fall-backs, no plans for my life outside of Little Mix. Honestly, I couldn’t plan what I was wearing the next day; let alone what to do with the rest of my life. I wondered when the band was finished, done, whether I’d still be close to Jesy, Jade and Leigh-Anne. The future was a scary concept, because no matter the amount of plans you could make, it was always changing.

“You can’t truly know that.” I disagree to his comment, shaking away my worried ponderings and he glanced at me for the first time since he stepped out onto the balcony and sat down.

“What’s the alternative?” He muses sadly. A silence falls between us as I ponder ten thousand different things I could say, but none of them truly having the power to comfort Louis at this current moment. He had a point, one I couldn’t deny or testify. What was the alternative to all of this?

“Either way, you are here now…doesn’t that count for something?” I ask, shifting in my seat to get more comfortable. The night-time air wasn’t too cold, but the slight breeze that blew on occasions managed to cause a shake down my spine. It seemingly added to the mood of the heavy conversation Louis and I had fallen into as we observed the city below.

Louis shrugs. “Maybe….I suppose.” He sets his nearly empty drink on the table beside him and leans on the arm rest of his chair, so he is closer to me. “But sometimes I can’t help but wonder you know…” He leans back again, his gaze sliding back out to the city before us.

My brows furrow at his cryptic words. “What do you wonder?” I ask curiously.

“I wonder…” He pauses for a moment, as though trying to word his confession. “What it would have been like…if I’d never tried out for the X-factor, if I hadn’t met the lads….you know….if none of this had ever happened.” He glanced downwards, and I noted with surprise that I had never noticed how long his eyelashes were. Everyone always commented on Zayn’s, but Louis wasn’t far behind. They framed his almost silvery blue eyes perfectly, even when they were filled with a reflective sadness I couldn’t cure.

“What do you think it would have been like?” I found myself asking, drawn in by the vague trail off.

His tongue ran over his lips, moistening them and I watched him silently, patiently waiting for an explanation.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think it would have been bad. I would have always yearned for more, felt trapped. Before all this, I felt as though I was going through the motions, you know? But…even now, it sometimes feels like that…I mean…what if my life would have been better if I hadn’t done all this? What if Hannah and I had stayed together, gotten married and had kids? Those same kids wouldn’t have to worry about fucked up conspiracies about their father and being chased by paparazzi, _subjected to this life_.”

“I mean I was only eighteen when I signed up for all this. I had no idea what was going to happen. But I got so caught up in it all, that I forgot to appreciate what I had _before it all_.” Throughout Louis’ monologue, I began to notice how his words had blurred together, slurred speech taking over his scarily painful clarity. However, I found myself frozen, unable to fully contemplate the fact this was merely Louis drunkenly rambling.

He sounded more sober than he ever had.

And that scared me.

“Louis…” I trailed off, unsure of what to say. His gaze flickered back to meet mine and I saw them glimmering with unshed tears. His sincerity broke my heart all over again. I tried to speak again, forming a coherent sentence. “You can’t curse yourself for taking the path you didn’t. That’s the point of life, you choose a fork in the bend and it leads you to where you are meant to be.”

I slid forward in my seat, tearing my gaze from his as I looked out onto the city below us.

“I mean, I could wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t signed up for all this. But wondering doesn’t equal reality. You may of married that girl, Hannah, you may of not. You still may have those kids. But they’ll grow up knowing how much of an amazing man you’ve become. I mean, there are millions of people out there that would give anything to be sitting where I am now, talking to you; even if it meant discussing something as boring as the weather. This is where you are meant to be, you were born for this. You chose your path and you pursued your dreams. Everything else is merely a ‘could have been’ in comparison to that achievement.” I glanced back at Louis, surprised to see he had moved forward as well, and was an earshot away, eyes studying my features like he had never seen me before.

“What?” I asked, suddenly incredibly self-conscious. I had kind of gone off into a little rant then. I tended to get incredibly philosophical late at night. It had something to do with the moon, or my exhausting taking over my words.

“I’ve never seen someone speak so passionately about fate.” He murmurs in response.

“Sorry…I have a slight obsession with alternative universes and the choices we make that influence them.” I admitted with a light shrug. He smiled. It wasn’t necessarily an ‘I’m over my gloomy moment’ one, but it was one that contained a familiar warmth.

“I can see what Zayn means now.” I tilt my head, confused.

“What does Zayn mean?” I ask. Despite Zayn being pretty open in our relationship, he wasn’t one to talk of feelings much, especially not to me. He was a reserved and naturally shy guy, which contrasted with his image in public eye.

“When he first told us you two were seeing each other we were kind of surprised. No offence, but you seem like complete opposites.” Louis explained and my brow furrowed slightly. “But whenever Zayn spoke of you, you could see this light on his face, one that was reserved just for your name. I asked him one day what he saw in you that drew him to you, and he said simply ‘she’s got so many answers to questions I never really needed to ask. It’s like she knows exactly what it is going on in my head.’” Louis recounted a fond smile on his face. I couldn’t help but melt at these words.

“He said that?” I asked, surprised and flattered at the same time. Louis nodded.

“He loves you, more than I think even you fathom.” He murmured softly as he glanced up at the roof of the balcony, seemingly focusing his gaze on something I couldn’t see in the faint light. A moment later a light snore escaped his lips and I couldn’t help but chuckle, that he’d fallen asleep so easily, despite the discomfort of the chairs we were seated in and the fact we’d just been having a fairly heavy conversation.

“I love him too.” I respond, after a silent delay. I knew my words would fall upon death ears, but a smile spread upon my face as I watched the city, with tired eyes.


End file.
